The Portuguese and Manchester United are both giants of the game in name only now, trying desperately to cling on to their relevance, while all around them crumbles.
But credit where credit is due, he is going down fighting – mainly with Paul Pogba but battling for his professional life nonetheless.
Mourinho publicly criticised the Frenchman for losing the ball in the build up to Joao Moutinho’s equaliser in the 1-1 Premier League draw with Wolves. And after stripping him of the captaincy left Pogba in the stands as the Red Devils crashed out the Carabao Cup at home to Championship side Derby.
It sure has been another troubling week at the place fast turning into the Theatre of Screams.
Eight points off league leaders Liverpool and the master beaten by the apprentice as Frank Lampard’s Rams won a sudden death shootout with Mourinho amazingly admitting “we knew if it was going in the direction of Phil Jones and Eric Bailly we’d be in trouble”. Ouch. Burn! Jose Mourinho 1 Man Management 0.
After 15 superb penalties, Jones duly fluffed his, and the public shaming left even the most ardent ABU feeling a tad sorry for the Englishman.
And what made a terrible night even worse was on-loan Liverpool kid Harry Wilson was the star man. He scored one of best swerving free-kicks ever seen at Old Trafford and then would have given the home fans a nightmare flashback as dressed in grey and looking more than a little like Fernando Torres he held up his hand in that mocking ‘five-times’ celebration in a nod to Liverpool’s European dominance.
After the dust settled another storm passed through the club the next day as footage emerged of Pogba and Mourinho looking daggers at each other in training.
The midfielder incensed his manager after posting a video of himself, Andreas Pereira and Luke Shaw joking around but explained dodgy WiFi at the ground meant a delayed upload following their shock loss.
But it is just one in a long line of spats and it seems at the moment the only time Pogba opens his mouth is to change feet.
Yet the flash, emoji-loving, social media addict is not the only huge problem Mourinho needs to solve. Alexis Sanchez is the other -hooked after an hour with the Wolves game in the balance and an unused sub in the Derby defeat.
The frontman has had a summer off after Chile failed to qualify for the World Cup, a full pre-season and half a campaign to bed in but was still the worst player of the pitch. He’s all hat and no cattle, which is unfortunate for a man hailing from South America.
It is a huge headache seeing as United made the guy the league’s highest paid star on £18m a year running until 2022 and the very real fear is they committed serious money on a player at the exact moment that his rapid decline began.
Sanchez has also interrupted the development of Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford and has somehow managed to keep his place despite scoring just two league goals in 17 games since joining in January.
His last Premier League goal came against Swansea on March 31. Since that day, there have been 347 goals scored in the competition with no fewer than 164 different scorers. It beggars belief a player on half a million quid a week is not one of those 164!
Even during his Arsenal days Sanchez got a lot of stick for how regularly he surrenders possession – and he lost the ball 16 times against Wolves. But since his move to United he has added a worrying lack of end product and ability to rival Harry Potter in his cloak of invisibility.
Mourinho needs to solve this quandary and fast because Sanchez in United colours looks like he’s been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.
AND then there was one . . .
Liverpool top the Premier League – the only side with their 100% record intact after a routine 3-0 win over Southampton.
Chelsea dropped their first points in a 0-0 draw with West Ham but bounced back in style to inflict a first defeat of the season on the Reds in the Carabao Cup.
Daniel Sturridge’s acrobatic opener put Jurgen Klopp’s side ahead but then Eden Hazard came on to turn the game in the Blues’ favour.
The brilliant Belgium scored a sensational solo winner, tarnished ever so slightly as it was Alberto Moreno and Simon Mignolet he tortured, beat and embarrassed.
The sides meet again this weekend at Stamford Bridge in the league and Kop fans will weep with joy at the sight of Alisson, Virgil van Dijk, Joe Gomez, Trent Alexander-Arnold and Andy Robertson back in their defence.
AND finally Germany have won the right to host Euro 2024 – beating off a bid from Turkey.
The poor Turks have now failed in attempts to hold the Euros in 2008, 2012 and 2016, as well as the 2020 Summer Olympics. They do as well at these sorts of things as we do.
In contrast Germany staged the 1974 and 2006 World Cups plus 1988 Euros and will be part of the pan-European 2020 tournament being held across the continent.
As for us being single-hosts – 52 years and counting – it seems Great Britain getting a major championship is rarer than a Trump apology.