MANCHESTER CITY are champions but oh the sweet irony.

Manchester United stopped Pep Guardiola’s men winning the title last weekend then sent out the invites, bought the cake and handed them the crown the following one.

After beating City away Jose Mourinho’s men contrived to lose to rock bottom West Brom at home with a performance as dismal and limp as anything they have produced in this strange campaign.

It was the Baggies first away win since AUGUST and their first league victory since January.

Misery is following Mourinho around like pork on a pig’s butt. Succeed at all costs is great if you’re a heart surgeon but not when you’re in the entertainment industry and United have been terrible to watch in all but a handful of matches.

City skipper Vincent Kompany and the handful of his team-mates who seemed to be in Manchester at the time – plus of course the fans – were incredulous with glee as they did not expect this Super Sunday.

They knew they were going to win the Premier League but nobody saw it being gifted to them without kicking a ball this weekend.

Pep Guardiola insisted he was going to be on the golf course with his son when this game was being played.

It’s funny how history repeats itself. Alex Ferguson played golf the day he won his first title at Manchester United, which came courtesy of a victory for relegation-threatened Oldham at Aston Villa.

Ferguson was playing with his son when a club member came running onto the course to tell him he was a league champion.

The Scot was in the crowd for Sunday’s debacle shaking his head and probably wondering where he left that hairdryer.

The aimlessness that has taken hold at United is epitomised by their two biggest signings.  Their £89million record buy Paul Pogba and highest earner Alexis Sanchez, who joined in January amid great fanfare from Arsenal.

Fergie sold Pogba to Juventus in 2012 and the £1.5m he got then looked a good deal going on the weekend’s showing.

The midfielder got the silliest booking of the season when he blatantly tried to punch the ball into the net so he was hooked after an hour. If stupid could fly, he’d be a supersonic jet.

Pogba’s inconsistencies this season are laid bare by the fact Philippe Coutinho – despite leaving Liverpool in January – has STILL scored two more goals, made 10 more key passes and created seven more chances than the Frenchman.

What makes the Barcelona ace’s tally all the more damning to Pogba is the fact he sat out the first month of the season – and six Reds matches – with a back injury.

It’s also been a nightmarish 2018 for Sanchez. In his short time at the club he has seen United dumped out the Champions League by Sevilla, lost 31% of his games and handed the title to the noisy neighbours.

The half-a-million pound a week Chilean was probably expecting more but that works both ways sunshine.

When both were signed United fans were giddy with glee. But be careful when you blindly follow the masses . . . sometimes the ‘m’ is silent.

STILL if you think it’s bad being a United fan, try being a Gooner!

Arsenal have not won away in the league this year and at St James Park they took the lead before aiming a loaded shotgun at their feet and promptly blowing their own toes off.

Bournemouth, Swansea, Tottenham, Brighton and now Newcastle – hardly a list of titans – but all taking three points off Arsene Wenger’s side without as much as a whimper.

It leaves them as the only one of England’s 92 Football League clubs to have lost on the road every single time in 2018.

And it does not seem like Wenger is capable or willing to change things. Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done.

AND finally the question isn’t ‘who’s going to let me’, it’s ‘who’s going to stop me?’

England’s netballers found out the answer was NOBODY on the Gold Coast – taking Commonwealth gold by beating massive favourites Australia.

Now we all love sticking it to the Aussies and our girls did it in style – winning by a single point with the final throw of the ball.

Helen Housby’s nerve-shredding goal will live long in the memory and the joyous mass bundle at the end is what sport is all about.

Tweet @BabsDouglasBP




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