Never mind, I can cheer myself up with the transfer window – it’s that time of year that’s nuttier than squirrel poo for fans across the country.
Liverpool supporters are currently happier than Kim Kardashian at a Spanx sale after the sensational signing of Alisson from Roma.
The 25-year-old has become the most expensive shot-stopper on the planet after completing his £67million move to Merseyside, signing a six-year deal at Anfield.
The Kop outfit have not had a decent keeper since Pepe Reina in 2013 but the hunky Brazilian looks the part; walks the walk and talks the talk.
Communication won’t be a problem as he speaks good English and he is already being favourably compared to the Premier League’s top stoppers before a ball has even been kicked in the 2018-19 campaign.
In his final season in Serie A, Alisson let in just 28 goals in 37 games, a ratio matched by Manchester United’s brilliant David De Gea, but marginally bettered by Manchester City’s Ederson, who let in one less.
Alisson made 109 saves at a rate of 79.3% so just slightly below De Gea’s 80.3% but much higher than another top Prem stopper Tottenham’s Hugo Lloris who stopped 86 shots (70.1%).
The obvious comparison with Ederson, who was key to City’s relentless title march, is regarding distribution.
Not only are the two compatriots – with Alisson No 1 for the Samba Boys – they now have the best passing stats of all the top six keepers, with Ederson completing 78.9% of his passes to Alisson’s imperious 85.3%.
It is the second summer in a row that the Reds have raided Roma – and they will be hoping this will be just as successful as Mo Salah’s move when the Egyptian proved hotter than a jalapeno fart.
THOSE still pining for the World Cup never fear as England women host hockey’s version over the next fortnight.
Although nowhere near as big as football the two sports share many similarities like the number of players, tactics and positions. And in an added bonus we’re actually pretty good and have a real chance of winning the 16-team competition so get ready to follow the pride.
A bumper crowd of 10,500 filled the Lee Valley Hockey and Tennis Centre for Saturday’s opening session and more than 100,000 tickets have been sold for the whole event.
Danny Kerry’s side are among the favourites with reigning champions and world No 1 Holland but the Lionesses made a nervous start by drawing 1-1 with India, who at No 10 are eight places below them in the world rankings.
Lily Owsley struck low from close range after an Indian clearance was blocked to secure a vital draw six minutes from time. England still have to face USA and Ireland in Pool B but should progress to the knockout stages.
Argentina, New Zealand and Australia are also teams full of confidence but England skipper Alex Danson tasted success at the 2016 Rio Games playing for Great Britain and she and our other Olympians will be feeling higher than a giraffe’s bum if they can add to their gold reserves.
DRIVING like he was in a hurry to get to heaven Lewis Hamilton won a rain-lashed German Grand Prix.
It was an incredible show by the Brit who started 14th on the grid following a hydraulic failure in qualifying.
What started as a damage-limitation exercise with title rival Sebastian Vettel on pole ended with Hamilton’s 66th career victory after the German lost control of his Ferrari.
The four-time world champion’s stunning run through the field means he regained the championship lead and is now 17 points ahead of Vettel.
AND finally Francesco Molinari won The Open. I’d write more about it but frankly I find golf as exciting as a mashed-potato sandwich.